Sunday, September 26, 2010

A Child's Story on Parental Alienation

I am a child of parental alienation. Much has been written about it, mostly from the view of the alienated parent and what they believe happens to the child/children. Well, here I am. I am fully grown and telling my story.

I was removed from my mother's house when I was 8 years old. I remember she wasn't all bad.  Or good, either. I was scared of her sometimes, but sometimes we baked cookies and went to the park. I missed her when I was taken away.

My father was a kind old soul. He didn't tell me to forget about her. He didn't tell me to hate her. He told me and showed me he loved me. But he said I couldn't go back or see her because it was unsafe for me to be there. I trusted him. He answered my questions when they came up. He made me understand grownups shouldn't leave young children alone in the house, or hit them with shoes, or pull their hair out, or threaten to leave them when they misbehave, or...

I missed her less and less until I realized that I was lucky my father had the guts to do what he did. I am a successful, happy, well-adjusted person today that has genuine relationships. My father once told me that he would rather I was mad at him for taking me away from my mother than for me to have been damaged by keeping me there.

I know that maybe she thinks she loved me, but she didn't know what love is. I know that some people have their kids taken away because of vindictive spouses, but sometimes it's the right thing to do. Why isn't more written on that?

I am interested in the stories of others, either like mine or from the alienated parent or the alienator. It helps me understand people like my mother, people like my father, and myself.


1 comment:

  1. Jessica,

    Alienation is only "abuse" or "criminal" if it is unjustified. If your father was trying to protect you from habitual physical abuse, then that was his motive...therefore, justified. There are many people out there (men and women) that are so wrapped up in how "right" they are and how "perfect" they are, that their pathological negative self-esteem, urges them to be blinded by anyone else being "of value" or as adequate as them. PAS is usually conducted by people with minds that do not function properly, so in turn, how would it make any sense for these people to think they were anything but WRONGED by the "SYSTEM"...that is WHY they are sick, because they are unable to recognize the damage...they need help.

    With your comment about father "wishing you would be mad at him", that is called "sympathy" for your feelings...something people who alienate cannot do. Your story doesn't compel me to believe you were alienated, just stuck in the middle of a crappy parenting situation...but, you have provided very small details, obviously your story is all I have to go on.